Which Nickelback song should the pickle parody next?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Awesome

My inferior (but still quite tasty) cousin is now available in those little applesauce cups you put in school lunches and whatnot.  I find this both humorous and intriguing....perhaps one day they will find a way to cram ME into tiny cups and force feed me to children in cafeterias world wide :D

..Also I love the face that pickle is making on the middle package.  Ninja pickle.  Someone better make a song called "Ninja Pickle" now!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Build a Snow Pickle!

Winter is upon us people!  What better way to enjoy freezing your brine-soaked balls off than building a snow pickle!  Frosty isn't going to know what hit him (hint: it's a pickle..he gets hit by a pickle).  Send pics of your best snow pickles to either me (chadkroegereatspickles@hotmail.com) or the facebook page listed at the top of the blog.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Looking For Some Good Voices

I would love it if someone could sing my song "Pickle In Your Mouth".  If you have a decent voice and a mic, send me your rendition at:
chadkroegereatspickles@hotmail.com   
If I like what I hear your song will be featured in the next post :)

I love this.

I found this a few years back and now I can finally share it with the fellow Nickelback haters of the world (which is apparently everyone except for the "shirtless frat guys with tribal tattoos" demographic):
Nickelback Recycled

Parodies Anyone?

As an ode to my lovely paramour, Chad Kroeger, I've written a song.  Hope you like it, sugar tits ;)

"Pickle in Your Mouth"
Pickleback feat. DJ Vlasic
from their debut album Dill Horse


Got to meet the Nickel with the million dollar pickle
They say it's just a 'cumber, but with it Kroeger slumbers COME ON!
Eats them at his concerts, while he sings the juice squirts
If you attend his next show don't sit in the first ten rows SEA WORLD!

Pretty little pickle with the pretty pink thong
Every shirtless frat guy hittin on it all night long
If your taste's a bit fickle, spend a dollar get a nickel
Damn this pickle sends a tickle to my heart, sing along!

(You naughty thing)
You twist open the jar sooo raunchy
(You naughty dill)
You shake the glass around for everyone
(You're such a mover)
I love the way you float inside your juices
(The way you bob)
And tease them all by suckin on your...*insert confused Kroeger stare*??
You're so damn cute but I wish you'd pull it out
'Cause Chad sings so much better with a pickle in his mouth!

Crafty little lip tricks
Kroeger licks the green tips
It's bending at the stem and
It seems that there's no end, hope it's KOSHER!
He'd get down on one knee
For the hand of Dill P.
Married to a Vlasic, it's absurd but classic baby COME ON!

Pretty little pickle with the pretty pink thong
Every shirtless frat guy hittin on it all night long
If your taste's a bit fickle, spend a dollar get a nickel
Damn this pickle sends a tickle to my heart, sing along!


(You naughty thing)
You twist open the jar sooo raunchy
(You naughty dill)
You shake the glass around for everyone
(You're such a mover)
I love the way you float inside your juices
(The way you bob)
And tease them all by suckin on your...*insert confused Kroeger stare*??
You're so damn cute but I wish you'd pull it out
'Cause Chad sings so much better with a pickle in his mouth!

He likes 'em plump 'n green, drag queen, Canada's proud son
Sparing no expense to find the perfect one
At the deli, goatee, everyone makes fun
As he laps the spurt from preserved cucumbers off of his thumb

(You're so damn cute)
But I wish you'd pull it out
(He sings much better)
With a pickle in his mouth!

(You naughty thing)
You twist open the jar sooo raunchy
(You naughty dill)
You shake the glass around for everyone
(You're such a mover)
I love the way you float inside your juices
(The way you bob)
And tease them all by suckin on your...*insert confused Kroeger stare*??
You're so damn cute but I wish you'd pull it out
'Cause Chad sings so much better with a pickle in his-


 

 

Saturday, February 6, 2010

I Got Laid!!

Chad gave me some of his sweet white chocolate tonight :D












Thanks to T.B. for making this awesome pic!

My Superbowl Prediction

With Superbowl Sunday knocking on our doors I figured it would only be right for me, the supreme vegetable, to present my winners forecast for this year. Below you will see a graph. This graph compares the number of pickles consumed by some of football's greatest players to the number of Superbowl titles earned by those players.


Notice how Dan Marino, an amazing player in his own right, never won a single title?  How many pickles did our buddy Dan Marino eat every day.  ZERO.

Now it has come to my attention that the stellar receiving squad for the Indianapolis Colts hates pickles (except for Garcon, but he only eats my inferior inbred cousins, sweet pickles, and those don't count).  After holding a press conference stating how much he despises pickles, Reggie Wayne has injured the fat pad in his right knee.  On a separate note, Saints star QB Drew Brees has adopted a "pickles only" diet in preparation for the big game.  Better start ingesting those brine-cured cucumbers, Peyton.

My prediction?
Saints 30 - Colts 20